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英语笑话

  • Watch out for themselves

    farmerjonespickedabigredappleandhandedittotheboysaying,\"watchoutforworms.\"\"whenieatapples,\"repliedtheboy,\"thewormshavetowatchoutforthemselves. ...

  • Worries about mad cow disease

    therewerethesetwocows,chattingoverthefencebetweentheirfields.thefirstcowsaid,\"itellyou,thismad-cow-diseaseisreallyprettyscary.theysayitisspreadin...

  • Sooner or later

    athiefwithalongrecordwasbroughtbeforethejudge.judge:haveyoueverstolenthings?thief:oh,nowandthen.judge:andwherehaveyoustolenthesethings?thief:oh,h...

  • New chemical warfare

    aninstructorinchemicalwarfareaskedsoldiersinhisclass:\"anyoneknowstheformulaforwater?\"\"sure.that‘seasy,\"saidoneman.\"whatisit?\"\"h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o.\"\"...

  • Pass out in shock

    themanpassedoutinadeadfaintashecameoutofhisfrontdoorontotheporch.someonedialed911.whentheparamedicsarrived,theyhelpedhimregainconsciousnessandask...

  • Jokes About Death

    oldteachersneverdie,theyjustlosetheirclassoldtelephonesneverdie,theyjuststopringingoldthermodynamicistsneverdie,theyjustachievetheirstate--ofmaxi...

  • A game of animal football

    theanimalswerebored.finally,thelionhadanidea.\"iknowareallyexcitinggamethatthehumansplaycalledfootball.i‘veseenitont.v.\"heproceededtodescribeitto...

  • A special football match

    mikewaslateforschool.hesaidtohisteacher,mr.brack,\"excusemeformycominglate,sir.iwatchedafootballmatchinmydream.\"\"whydiditmakeyoulate?\"inquiredthet...

  • An opponent lost his head

    whilemakingalong,dullspeech,apoliticianreceivedagreatdealofhecklingfromthegallery.secondly,someonethrewacabbageontothestage.\"ladiesandgentlemen,\"...

  • Choose a punishment

    privateloydswasbroughtupbeforetheunitcoforsomeoffence.\"youcantakeyourchoice,private-onemonth‘srestrictionortwentyday‘spay,\"saidtheofficer.\"allr...

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