It's too bad that the characters in I Hate Valentine's Day, an OK romantic comedy, keep talking about Jerry Maguire, a far superior romantic comedy. It sets them up for unkind comparison, and sure enough, even as you're sort of enjoying Valentine, you'll be thinking about renting Jerry.

　　 Valentine – oddly released just in time for ... well, no holiday at all – was written, directed and stars Nia Vardalos, the bundle of Greek charm responsible for My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Vardalos brought back her co-star from that film, John Corbett, and the two show the same slow-burn chemistry that made Wedding's clash of cultures such a delight.

　　 Alas, Valentine lacks Wedding's depth and piercing wit, although it gets in a few guffaw-worthy zingers. But whereas the previous film let audiences in on an entire value system born of ethnology, Valentine barely tells you the characters' names, much less anything remotely revealing about them.

　　 Genevieve (Vardalos) is a happy-all-the-time Brooklyn florist who never stops smiling (which is kind of annoying, actually). Her glee, she says, stems from her foolproof dating system: five dates, and then it's over. This guarantees, she posits, that you get only "the good stuff," that part of dating where you always tingle when you catch sight of the object of your affection – and skips the part with the smelly socks, betrayals and heartbreak. "Nobody completes anybody," Genevieve tells a friend in a decidedly anti-Jerry Maguire moment.

　　 That's all just dandy until she meets Greg (Corbett), who's opening a tapas bar right down the street from her shop. "It's called Get on Tapas," he tells everyone. Hardly anyone gets the joke, but he keeps the name.

　　 Even though they know upfront that the relationship will be brief, Genevieve nonetheless makes Greg work at it. "Just because I don't believe in relationships does not mean that I'm easy," she tells him on their first date. "I'm open for wooing."

　　 The film's subplots and secondary characters are many, but they're skimmed over with such carelessness that few get any decent screen time. A story about Genevieve's tense relationship with her father seems tacked on, and Rachel Dratch (My Life in Ruins) and others are totally wasted as her friends. The only minor characters with any depth are Bill (Stephen Guarino) and Bob (Amir Arison), Genevieve's assistants. Their over-the-top gayness seems clichéd, but they do get many of the best lines.

　　 One thing you wish they'd talk about is Genevieve's wardrobe. Vardalos has lost weight and looks Hollywood glam, but it's as if the costumers said, "Oh, she's skinny! We can put her in patterns now!" and then went wild inside an ultratacky fabric store. Most of the dress patterns are just dead awful, fighting for audience attention with everything else on-screen.

　　 Too, Vardalos should heed the warning that actors shouldn't try to direct themselves. If she'd had someone else behind the camera, perhaps they'd have told her to tone down the irritating bounciness she displays early in the movie. She glows, yes, but you start to feel that perhaps she's radioactive and you should move away.

　　 Corbett does his best in an underwritten role, coming across as a decent guy whose good looks keep getting him into trouble. He's charming, affable, blah, blah, blah, but not a character you'll remember five minutes after leaving the theater.

　　 And that pretty much sums up the problem with I Hate Valentine's Day : It's like eating a plain Hershey's bar on that supposedly most romantic day of the year. It may soothe your sweet tooth for a brief bit, but you'll still be longing for Godiva.

　　 That'd be Jerry Maguire.