while working on the installation of a new piece of machinery, a worker was lifting a heavy steel support beam in order to bolt it into place. as he held the beam he began to express discomfort in the muscle of his leg. 

　　"man oh man!" he exclaimed. "now that hurt!"

　　"charlie horse?" someone asked.

　　"charlie horse isn"t the word for it. a charlie horse would have be a blessing compared to how this feels."

　　by this time, another worker had walked up to see what the commotion was about. he looked at the steel support beam and said, "can i help you with that?"

　　the injured worker replied as he pointed to his leg, "that would be great. how about massaging it a little while."

　　二：

　　fish kill

　　it was a cloudless day. the warmth of the fall sun made the day seem as if it would be perfect. yes, for me perhaps, but not exactly for the technician who was working on one of my laboratory machines. the technician definitely knew what he was doing and seemed exceptionally qualified except for one thing. he was no electrician. he had found a motor that he identified as being bad. the motor shaft was much too difficult to turn and he had indicated that this was a major problem. "expect two to three days for a new one to arrive," he said.

　　one thing my friend didn"t understand is that when power is supplied to a generator, it becomes a motor and when mechanical power is applied to a motor, it becomes a generator. during the process of his working on the machine he disconnected the leads to the motor and spun the shaft turning the motor into a generator. disconnecting the leads in effect took the load off the motor, the leads being connected causing the motor not to turn freely. he looked rather perplexed to see the motor shaft spin so freely. for reasons unknown to me, he spun the shaft again and grabbed the wires protruding from the motor. i don"t believe i have ever heard quite the string of expletives that this man let fly from his mouth. with his eyes widened he had to slap his hand loose from the wires as the flow of generated electricity locked the grip of his hand.

　　now this being funny all by itself, it evidently wasn"t funny enough for the technician because he spun the motor and grabbed the leads again. another string of expletives that have never been heard previously by man were unleashed unto the world.